All Grown Up
by Demyx's waterbaby
Summary: Xeal and Xymed are almost preteens. what happens when Larxene tells them about their parents? rated T for language, mpreg, and some other crap [AXD]


All Grown Up

It was the middle of the night and the castle was woken up by the sound of Xeal and Xymed crying. Demyx sat up in the bed and rubbed his eyes.

"Not again," he complained.

He got out of bed and fed the two screaming babies. Axel rustled around the bed and woke up.

"That's the third time this week they woke us up screaming," he whined.

"They're just babies," Demyx said. "They can't help it if they're hungry."

"So?" Axel said. "We get hungry, and you don't hear _**us **_screaming all the time. Except that one time Saix was hungry and took out half of Twilight Town."

Demyx couldn't help but snicker.

"True," he said, putting his children back in the crib.

Xymed threw his blanket on Demyx's head and started crying again. Demyx smiled sweetly as he handed the blanket back to his son.

"Don't cry," he said. "Mommy has your Mr. Blankie right here."

"I still can't get used to that," Axel said.

"That's because you have no maternal instincts," Demyx said.

"I never knew I was gonna need them," Axel said, turning over.

"It's called _**preparation**_," Demyx said. "Got it memorized?"

Axel sighed brusquely. He didn't like when Demyx used his catch-phrase to mock him.

"Well," he said, "You didn't know you were gonna get pregnant either."

"Do you _**always **_have to be so negative?" Demyx asked. "We have kids now. You have to learn to be a little more...sensitive and stuff."

He climbed back into the bed and rolled over onto Axel playfully. Axel snickered and wrapped his arms around the Melodious Nocturne.

"Sure," he said, "_**I **_could be more sensitive. You couldn't be anymore sensitive."

Almost 10 years later, Xeal and Xymed were a day away from becoming pre-teens. Xeal was a bit taller than Xymed and had blonde hair styled like Axel's, but with thin, red bangs. Xymed had a fluffy, red mullet-hawk and carried around a sky blue blanket. Demyx was pregnant again and the Organization was getting all worked up over it.

"They weren't like this _**last**_ time I was pregnant," Demyx said.

"Maybe they didn't know what the kids were gonna be like before," Axel commented.

Xymed ran up to Demyx crying.

"Mommy," he cried, "Xeal took Mr. Blankie again!"

Xigbar and Luxord snickered. Axel glared at them and Demyx threw a shoe at them. Xeal ran into the room and shouted,

"I did _**not**_! Larxene took it and framed me!"

Demyx sighed and yelled,

"LARXENE!!"

Larxene popped into the room,

"You rang?" she asked.

"Did you take Xymed's blanket again?" Demyx asked.

"What?" Larxene said, trying to sound innocent, but failing miserably. "_**Me**_? Why would _**I **_take sweet little Xymed's blanket?"

Demyx stood up in front of her and said,

"Because you're sadistic, you never liked me, Axel, or our children, and because you're still disgusted with having to help me deliver them almost 10 YEARS AGO!"

Axel tried to sit Demyx back down.

"Easy honey," he said. "You don't wanna have a miscarriage, do you?"

He turned to Larxene and held out his hand. Larxene reluctantly surrendered a blue blanket.

"Here you go, sweetie," Axel said, giving the blanket back to Xymed.

Xymed gleefully took the blanket and stuck his tongue out at Larxene, who copied the action.

"Larxene," Axel said, "Stay away from our kids, ok? You caused enough trouble as it was _**before **_they came along, and right now, Demyx needs to take it easy. Got it memorized?"

Larxene sighed and nodded. Axel smiled a little and turned to Demyx as he started massaging his shoulders.

"And _**you **_say I have no maternal instincts," he said.

Larxene scowled as she walked out of the room. She was getting sick of Xeal and Xymed. It was already bad enough when it was just Axel and Demyx. She had to figure out a way to get them out of her hair, and, of course, she was gonna do it sadistically. She grinned as an evil plan popped into her head.

Xeal and Xymed were up in their room.

"You really gotta give that thing up," Xeal said.

"Get rid of Mr. Blankie?!" Xymed gasped. "Never!"

"Xymed," Xeal said, "You're almost 10 years old and you _**still **_carry around that dumb blanket!"

"Mr. Blankie is _**not **_dumb!" Xymed retorted.

"You're just like Mom and his sitar," Xeal commented.

Xymed pouted and stroked his blanket. There was a knock at their door.

"Come in," the two said simultaneously.

Larxene poked her head in the room.

"Hello you two," she said. "How's everything going?"

"How do you think?" Xymed asked sarcastically, holding his blanket away from her.

"Listen," Larxene said, "I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to have a little fun. I know now that it's wrong and I'll never do it again. I hear your little brother's gonna be delivered soon. It's a shame the world's gonna have another mistake."

"What're you talking about, Larxene?" Xeal asked.

Larxene grinned and continued,

"I'm just sayin' that with another child being born from man, it's another sign that the world is close to being completely screwed up. Birds will grow gills and fish will sprout wings."

"You're not making any sense," Xymed said.

"You two are imperfections," Larxene continued. "Mistakes. You shouldn't have been born. You're like us Nobodies; we were never supposed to exist. But somehow nature made it possible that the first male was able to give birth.

"It's unnatural for men to give birth. It's supposed to be the woman's job. Are you two aware you're the spawns of two gay men? Your mother is supposed to be a woman, not a man. Axel and Demyx found the ability to love, but used it on the wrong gender. They got knocked up and Demyx somehow obtained an egg and got pregnant with you two.

"You show that your parents are imperfections as well. You're both living proof."

"So," Xeal tried to comprehend, "We're...wrong?"

"And the world is better off without us?" Xymed asked.

"You might say that," Larxene said. "And with your mother pregnant again, they have another mistake to worry about."

She sneered as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"We're imperfections?" Xymed asked. "We're mistakes?"

"Mom and Dad are gay?" Xeal asked.

"What _**is **_gay, anyways?" Xymed asked.

Xeal tapped his lower lip and pondered.

"I'm not really sure," he said, "But it can't be good."

Xymed stared at his feet and rubbed his blanket. He stopped and just looked at it. He wadded it up and threw it to the side. Xeal was shocked.

"You're getting rid of Mr. Blankie?" he asked.

"What's the point in keeping it?" Xymed asked. "An imperfection like me doesn't need material possessions."

"Did that just come out of _**your **_mouth?" Xeal asked. "Because that doesn't sound like your intelligence level. I always thought you had Mom's inte-"

"So now you're saying Mom's an airhead?" Xymed said.

"Well," Xeal replied, "The other Organization members say he's-"

"Who cares what the other members say about Mom?!" Xymed yelled.

"You're such a momma's boy!" Xeal yelled back.

"Nuh uh!" Xymed retorted. "_**You're **_a momma's boy!

"No _**you **_are!" Xeal yelled.

"No _**you**_!"

"No _**you**_!"

"No _**you**_!"

Xeal and Xymed threw themselves at each other and started fighting. Back downstairs, Larxene was sitting in the living room, snickering as the boys upstairs fought. Demyx was lying on the couch, watching Larxene.

"What's so funny, Lar?" he asked.

"Nothing," Larxene replied quickly.

Demyx looked up at the ceiling and listened to his children fight. He was about to get off the couch when Axel stopped him.

"I'll do it," he said. "You stay here and rest."

Demyx nodded and lay back down. Axel sighed as he walked up to Xeal and Xymed's room. He opened the door and shouted,

"Ok, what's going on in here?"

The two weren't listening and Axel had to pry them away from each other. He set them down and asked,

"Ok, now who can tell me what happened here?"

"He's a momma's boy!" Xeal and Xymed pointed at each other.

Axel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Ok," he asked, "And why are you calling each other a momma's boy?"

"He called me and Mom stupid!" Xymed yelled.

"Xeal," Axel asked, "Why did you call your brother and mom stupid?"

"I didn't call them stupid," Xeal retorted, "Xymed just said something that didn't seem like it was in his vocabulary."

"What'd he say?" Axel asked curiously.

"He said 'An imperfection like me doesn't need material possessions'," Xeal replied.

"An imperfection?" Axel asked. "Xymed, why would you call yourself an imperfection?"

"Not just me," Xymed replied, "Both Xeal and me."

"Where in the World That Never Was did you get the idea that you two were imperfections?" Axel asked.

"Because you and Mom are gay," Xeal replied, "And Mom wasn't supposed to give birth to us because he's a boy and only girls are supposed to have kids."

"And since he gave birth to us," Xymed continued, "It shames you two because it shows you're imperfections too."

"Who the hell told you your mother and I are gay?" Axel asked, getting ready to tear someone's head off.

"Larxene," Xeal and Xymed said.

Axel stared at them blankly for a few seconds. His eyebrows narrowed dangerously and his face turned red with anger as he stood up.

"LAAARXEEENE!!!" he yelled as he tore down the hall.

"Uh oh," Larxene whispered, perking her head up at the sound of Axel's voice.

She pulled her hood up over her head and curled up into a fetal position in her chair. Demyx was still watching her and was curious.

"What'd you do now, Lar?" he asked.

"Nothing," Larxene said blankly.

Axel burst into the room flaming, literally.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" he yelled.

Everybody in the room pointed at the same chair. Axel set it on fire and Larxene shrieked as she leapt out the chair.

"Didn't I tell you to stay away from my kids?!" Axel shouted.

Larxene was quivering with fear. Demyx tried to get up off the couch.

"What'd she do to my babies?" he asked, worried.

"She told them they were imperfections!" Axel responded. "That they shouldn't have been born to gay men!"

"WHAT?!" Demyx yelled.

"I didn't do it!" Larxene yelled in defense.

"Xeal! Xymed!" Demyx yelled. "Come down here!"

Xeal and Xymed quickly teleported to the room.

"What'd this b(beep)ch tell you two?" Demyx asked.

"She told us that we were never supposed to be born since you're a boy," Xeal said.

"And that you two would be better off without us," Xymed finished.

Demyx stared at them in shock for a few seconds then glared at Larxene.

"Why you little...!"

Demyx pounced on Larxene and started beating her with a lamppost and other random things. Axel frantically tried to get Demyx to calm down. Xeal and Xymed just watched. Demyx was just about to hit her again when he stopped. He started breathing heavily.

"Oh," he whined, "Why does this always happen when I'm in a fight?"

Demyx held his stomach tightly as he fell over.

"Demyx!" Axel yelled out, helping up the Melodious Nocturne.

"Axel," Demyx panted, "It's time."

"It's time?" Axel asked. "Oh my God, it's time! Everyone, it's time!"

Everyone started scrambling around. Axel helped Demyx up to their room. Everyone else rushed upstairs, but Xigbar hit Larxene over the head with his gun and knocked her out. Xeal and Xymed gasped and followed everyone. They stood back as everyone prepared Demyx for his delivery. Zexion was helping him this time.

"Ok," he coached, "On three- one, two, three, push!"

Demyx shrieked as he pushed. Xeal and Xymed covered their ears.

"Is Mom gonna be ok?" Xymed asked.

"I hope so," Xeal replied.

"Push!" Zexion yelled.

Demyx screamed again. Axel screamed as his hand was being crushed.

"You're doing great, Demyx!" he coached.

"I don't wanna do this anymore!" Demyx screamed as he pushed again.

"You can do it!" Axel yelled. "You did it before! You can do it again!"

"Someone go get Larxene!" Marluxia yelled.

"What for?" Saix asked.

"Axel's about to lose his hand," Marluxia replied.

Saix nodded and fetched Larxene.

"Breathe, breathe," Zexion instructed, "Now one, two, three, push!"

Demyx screamed again as he pushed.

"One more time!" Zexion yelled. "PUSH!!"

Demyx yelped as he pushed again.

"Xigbar! Xaldin!" Zexion dictated. "You know what to do!"

Xigbar and Xaldin helped pull the baby out.

"It's a boy!" Zexion announced.

"Please tell me there's only one this time!" Demyx shouted.

"Yes Demyx," Zexion said, "There's only one."

Demyx sighed with relief and rested his head. The baby was cleaned up and was presented to Axel and Demyx. Xeal and Xymed just watched.

"Come over here, boys," Axel coaxed.

Xeal and Xymed slowly walked over to their parents.

"Kids," Demyx said, "Meet your new baby brother, Xale."

The two kids' eyes swelled up.

"Happy birthday you two," Demyx said.

The two perked up and looked over at the clock. It read 12:02 am. They were finally 10 years old, and their baby brother was their birthday gift.

"You guys still think you're imperfections?" Axel asked.

"No Dad," Xeal replied, "We don't."

"We feel much better now," Xymed said.

"I'm glad to hear that," Axel said smiling.

Xymed perked up as he got an idea. He went to his room and quickly fetched his blanket and wrapped it around Xale.

"You're giving up Mr. Blankie?" Demyx asked.

"Yup," Xymed replied, smiling. "I figured Xale would like it more than me. After all, I _**am **_10 years old, so I don't need it anymore."

Axel and Demyx smiled.

"I'm proud of you, Xy," Xeal said, punching Xymed lightly in the arm.

Larxene started to wake up.

"W-what happened?" she asked.

Axel summoned a chakram and knocked her out with it. Xale started giggling.

"Aw," Axel cooed, "That's so cute. Pain towards sadists makes him giggle."


End file.
